looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
