She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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