i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
