On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
