somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
