Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
