I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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