wake up i wanna do it froggy style
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
