everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
