I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
