Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize