My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
