I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
