If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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