Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
