If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
