Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
