Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
