I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize