i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
