you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
