my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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