WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Redeem this text for a blowjob
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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