I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
