The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
