legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
this will be a night to untag.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
