pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
