I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
