If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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