ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize