Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize