I wish my penis had an off switch
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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