She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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