no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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