And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
