I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
