I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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