gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize