I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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