this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
