Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
