reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
