no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
