I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
