I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize