What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
