I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
