You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The air was thick with penises
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
