Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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