I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
two words...techno handjob
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
