:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have feelings that need drinking.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
