I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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