hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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