we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
