You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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