Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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