dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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