I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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