dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
