sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize